September 10, 2011

Measuring Myself by My Eleven Year old Standards

26.
If you had asked me fifteen years ago where I would be at 26, I probably would have told you that I would be married with at least one kid and living near either mountains or ocean.  Maybe I would have written a book or won an Olympic gold metal in swimming.  I would be a black belt in martial arts and be surrounded by friends.  I would have already seen Europe, and would be making my next big plans with my hubby.  And of course I would have my college degree; I would have that by 20.
And, somehow I would be famous, and I would have lots of friends.  Friends that didn't live far away or where imaginary.
Today I'm 26.
Today I know that I cannot measure up to my 11 year old dreams, at least not on that timeline.
But, my dreams are coming true.
They aren't quite the same, and they are much harder to earn than I ever could have imagined.  But change is happening, and that is what I wanted all along.  No, none of it looks how I would have imagined, but somehow it feels the same.
And, nobody else may be noticing either, but I feel it.
Instead of writing a book, I'm taking pictures: documenting the world around me as lovely as I can see it.  
I am making friends.
Maybe not lots and lots, but friends I really care about, and I know they care about me.  They actually want to be my friends (I never would have guessed).
I'm not married, nor have I seen any other country but the US and Mexico.  But I feel adventure swelling up at my feet, gradually taking me in deeper as I walk forward. 
I have to be honest, it's taken me a while to get my bearings on this whole life thing.  It kind of hit me like a stone wall as I stepped out of childhood.  I was so frustrated; everything just felt harder for me than it looked for other people.  It still does, but it's not so bad.  And now I believe I will get there.  Not to fame, maybe not even to marriage, but I'm getting somewhere.  God is showing me my steps one foot at a time, and I'm starting to get excited.

Here's to another year


2 comments:

  1. Loved the blog, Nat. One of my favorite songs as a child was "One Day at a Time". It is so true. You are growing and I have had the privilege of witnessing it over these last couple of years. Have a great year, and enjoy it to the hilt! Blessings.~ Md

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great blog, Natalie. When one can look back over their 26 years the way you do, maturity is at your feet. I'm excited for you life's journey. And like the song, "You've only just begun...." xo Happy Birthday!!

    Carole Ann

    ReplyDelete